so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
