It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
You need a sexual gate keeper
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
