i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
