If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
