You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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