then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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