Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
