I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
