Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
