I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I am available for nakedness
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