Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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