Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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