Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
