there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
