these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
