dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
