I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
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