For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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