please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
