I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
two words: eviction party
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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