i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
