Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
