Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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