he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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