Nicole vs. Life
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Randomize
