Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
This is the high leading the old right now
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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