Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
