so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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