I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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