Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
