Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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