Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I need to sanitize my soul.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
