Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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