Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
