Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize