Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
