Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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