my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
