This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
