he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
