and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
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