So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
