I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
