I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
