No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Randomize
