When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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