it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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