Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
