Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
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