just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
